Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
porn star boner night. come get it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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