I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It was like giving head to a cactus.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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