We're facebook friends in real life
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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