I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We are two peas in an std pod
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
