Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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