Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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