my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think I am morally bankrupt
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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