so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
