He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
