i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
