Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
