For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
