nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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