Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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