shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
