In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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