So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Randomize
