i think i have herpe
just one?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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