He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
