Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize