woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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