Acid is not a monday night drug
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
soo... how was my night?
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