Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
