ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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