whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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