I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
