He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
