my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
