I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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