god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
