Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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