I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
