What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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