summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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