Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
