I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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