HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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