Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
