is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
