I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
