So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i think my cat just said my name.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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