She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize