okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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