your thong is hanging out like whoa
how can u be prego again
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
