he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
