My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
