What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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