hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
