brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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