After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
