$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize