and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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