Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
