I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
