Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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