he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
