I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
