Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
